I hate prime numbers. I don’t mind the little ones; I guess nineteen is the first one I really can’t tolerate. In fact, I’m actually quite fond of the numbers five and seven and thirteen in particular. But once it gets to nineteen and twenty-three and twenty-nine, I think that prime numbers make life hopelessly complicated. They don’t make any sense. They have so many smaller integers to choose from, I just don’t see why they can’t find anything except one to be divisible by. (I also hate the fact that it’s so hard to talk about prime numbers without ending sentences with prepositions)At least little prime numbers have an excuse, because they don’t have as many littler integers beneath them.

Once, I discovered that if I added up the number of Scrabble points for each letter in my first name, middle name, and last name, the result would be thirty-seven, which is not good because it’s prime. I therefore decided to give myself an imaginary second middle name worth 12 points in order to bring my number up to forty-nine. Forty-nine is cool because not only is it not prime, it’s also a square. That solves the problem with my name, but it doesn’t get rid of all the prime numbers hanging around the world and making life even more confusing than it already is.

On a somewhat related note, it doesn’t really make sense for us to count in base 10. I know it’s because we have ten fingers, but still, ten is factored into two times five, which seems kind of random. It would make more sense if we counted either in base eight (because it’s two cubed) or nine (three squared) which are just much more logical and convenient numbers. Personally, I prefer base eight because then we could still count on our hands, we just wouldn’t use our thumbs. Nine would just be weird because we’d have to use one thumb and not the other, and I don’t think thumb discrimination is fair.

Another thing I hate about math is trigonometry, but that’s just because it doesn’t make any sense.

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