In this blog, I intend to write a post for every major holiday. Today, as I hope everyone knows, is an extremely important holiday. Sadly, since I’m currently in the crazy part of the semester right before finals, I don’t actually have time to watch Star Wars today, which is not cool. I might try to make time to watch the first hour or so of A New Hope tonight, but I’m not counting on being able to do that. Anyway, in celebration of this occasion, I will now list my criteria for awesomeness in a movie, thereby demonstrating that the Star Wars movies are the ultimate awesome movies.

1. Plot

In my opinion, the plot isn’t as important to the overall awesomeness of a movie as it is for a book, mainly because the fourth and fifth elements on this list don’t apply at all to books. Still, for a movie to be really great, the plot has to be interesting. Since the definition of interesting is relative, I’m not going to try to define it in specific terms, but I think that it’s pretty safe to assert that Star Wars is interesting.

2. Characters

Ideally, the viewer should like, dislike, or be somewhat afraid of most of the major characters. Even if you can’t stand Jar-Jar Binks, you have to admit that he’s a very memorable and distinctive character, as are Yoda, Chewbacca, C3PO, R2D2, Jabba the Hut, and pretty much everyone in all six movies. And Darth Vader, of course, is the ultimate movie antagonist. It just isn’t possible to find an awesomer bad guy than Darth Vader.

3. Quotable lines

Really good movies always have at least a few really good quotes. Sometimes they’re funny (“Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder!”), sometimes they’re dramatic (“If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine”), sometimes they’re somewhat inspirational (“Do or do not do, there is no try”), and sometimes they just make really good catchphrases (“May the force be with you”).

4. A really cool soundtrack

While it isn’t necessarily the first thing that I think of when I think about a movie, the soundtrack is definitely important. If anyone actually thinks that Star Wars doesn’t have an excellent soundtrack, they need to have either their head or their ears examined.

5. Special effects

Seriously, Star Wars pretty much invented modern special effects. Yes, I am aware that the special effects in the original trilogy aren’t so impressive by our jaded 21st century standards. Real life also isn’t so impressive by our jaded 21st century standards. I don’t think we actually need to be judging movies by contemporary standards. Exploding spaceships are pretty awesome, even if they don’t look quite like what an exploding spaceship ought to look like.

Actually, all of that pretty much goes without saying. Everyone who’s cool already knows how awesome Star Wars is. Have a happy Star Wars day!