Dear Sister,

You have probably noticed that I just now sent you 114 emails, several facebook messages, a couple youtube comments, a blog comment, and tagged you in a tweet. The reason for this should be obvious. (For any readers who are unaware of the reason, here is a link to my sister’s blog, where the reason can be found.)

You may have further noticed that the topic of almost all of these messages was octopodes. Fun fact: Although both ‘octopuses’ and ‘octopi’ are correct plural forms of the word ‘octopus’ according to most English dictionaries, neither of these is etymologically accurate. The i ending for plural words is used for Latin words of the second declension, but the word ‘octopus’ is not Latin in origin; ’tis Greek. Also, it’s apparently third declension. To be honest, I have no clue what declension means, but that’s not the point. The point is that the word ‘octopodes’ is more correct than both ‘octopuses’ and ‘octopi’. Ironically, the word ‘octopodes’ is not as commonly used as ‘octopi’ and ‘octopuses’ and is not in as many dictionaries. All three are valid scrabble words.

Perhaps you are wondering why I am suddenly so interested in octopodes and why I felt a need to use them as the topic for this spam attack. I cannot adequately answer this question. A few days ago, I happened to come across a youtube video of an octopus, and I said to myself, “Oh, what an interesting creature an octopus is! I cannot decide whether I think it is one of the coolest and awesomest living beings on this planet, or whether I think it is really gross and disgusting. This dichotomy of awesomeness and grossness makes it an ideal topic with which to annoy my sister in return for what she did to me last week.” Incidentally, I shall probably at some point write an entire blog post about why octopodes are cool, awesome, gross, and disgusting.

Moreover, Carthage must be destroyed!


Your incredibly awesome sister

P.S. Happy Friday the 13th!

P.P.S. You’ll be pleased to know that I have a nasty second degree burn inside my mouth, which I acquired by eating a s’more that I had just burned to death in the microwave. I had to open the windows so that I didn’t set off the smoke alarm. Such is the greatness of my genius.