1. Four years ago, when I was applying to colleges, my least favorite part of the application process was writing personal statement essays. It’s very hard to write something that advertises myself to a school, describes who I am, is completely honest, and sounds good. Sometimes I wasn’t sure what they were looking for, and when there was a prompt question, that was even worse. One prompt question that I specifically remember said, “Describe the biggest risk you have ever taken”. I was very tempted to write, “The biggest risk I have ever taken was when I applied to college with only this as my application essay.” I didn’t do that, but ever since then, I’ve been very curious to know what would have happened if I had.

I took this picture out of the airplane window during that trip to Tampa. The girl sitting next to me got a picture just like it.

2. Last spring, I went to Tampa, Florida for an academic conference with several other students and a couple professors from my college. We traveled by plane, and my boarding pass was 2B. Unfortunately, I utterly failed to make a single ‘2B or not 2B’ joke.

3. When I took the test to get my driver’s license, I did not turn to the person giving the test and say, “If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour…”

4.The first time I gave blood, it left an enormous bruise that drastically changed color every couple days. The best was when it was green. It wasn’t just that greenish yellow color that bruises sometimes are; it was actually green.  I was at college, so my sisters never saw it. It was a waste of a perfectly good bruise.

5. There have been several different occasions when I’ve been helping out backstage at a performance or something, and have called a kid by name, and that kid has asked me how I knew his or her name. Usually, the answer is that I asked someone else or saw it written on the hanger for his/her costume, or something like that, and that’s what I tell the kid. I have never tried to claim that it was telepathy.

6. Once, I dropped a scotch tape dispenser. It hit my desk, fell to the floor, somehow bounced off something, flew back up into the air, and hit me in the hand at just the right angle that the sharp part left a fairly deep cut on my finger. I did not catch this incident on camera.

7. I have never ended a presentation by saying, “Moreover, Carthage must be destroyed.” But once, I did end an exam essay question that way. The professor liked it.

Moreover, Cato the Elder advises that Carthage must be destroyed.